Survival and Speaking Out
This is not an easy blog post to write. And honestly, it might not be an easy one to read either. But then again, none of this is easy—not surviving, not healing, and definitely not speaking the truth out loud.
I want to talk about something that many of us carry in silence: suicide.
This is something I’ve struggled with more times than I can count. I’ve had days when the weight of my trauma felt unbearable—when I couldn’t see a way out, when living felt heavier than dying. I’ve felt that numbness, that ache that doesn’t go away with rest or distraction. I’ve sat in that dark place where it felt like the world might be better without me in it. And if you’ve been there too, I want you to know you are not alone.
After surviving sexual assault, a person is 3 to 4 times more likely to attempt suicide. For those who’ve experienced domestic violence, that risk increases to 5 times more likely.
But here’s something that’s just as important to say: these feelings grow in silence. When we’re not given space to talk about the pain, or when we’re met with shame or disbelief, it festers. According to research, people who do not talk about their suicidal thoughts are significantly more likely to attempt suicide than those who do. Silence isolates. Silence lies to us. Silence tells us no one would understand or care.
But that’s not true.
You do not have to be a survivor for your pain to be valid. These feelings—hopelessness, exhaustion, the questioning of whether it’s worth continuing—can affect anyone. Trauma wears many faces, and emotional pain is not a competition. Whatever your story looks like, you’re allowed to feel what you feel.
I used to be afraid to say it out loud—that I had suicidal thoughts. That I sometimes still do. But the more I’ve said it, the more I’ve realized how many others are silently nodding along, afraid to speak it for themselves. So I’ll say it for us: You are not broken for feeling this way. You are human.
If there’s someone you love—check on them. Ask how they’re really doing. And please, don’t be afraid to say the words: “Are you thinking about suicide?” Saying it doesn’t plant the idea—it opens the door. It creates safety. It can be the beginning of a conversation that truly saves a life.
The truth is: healing from pain, violence, and overwhelming thoughts doesn’t happen in silence. We need to start having these hard conversations. We need to hold space for the darkness, too—not just the “inspiring” parts of healing.
If you’re reading this and you’ve ever felt this way, please know: you are not alone. There is nothing wrong with you. These feelings make sense in the context of your story—and there is hope.
You deserve support, compassion, and safety. You deserve to keep going, even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.
I’m still here. And I’m so glad you are too.
If you or someone you love is in crisis, please know help is available:
📞 National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (U.S.): 988
Available 24/7 for free and confidential support. You can call, text, or chat online at 988lifeline.org
📞 RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
Connects you with a trained sexual assault counselor in your area.
📞 National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text “START” to 88788
Support for those experiencing domestic violence. Visit thehotline.org for chat and safety planning tools.
Please take what you need from this, and remember: speaking up could save your life—or someone else’s.